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Bark-To-Skip Music Button
$22.95
A big blue button your dog can press to skip songs they hate.
1000 in stock
Description
Dive snout-first into the sonic frontier with the Bark-To-Skip Music Button™—a hypnotically blue orb forged from patented Quantum Paw-Resonance Alloy™ designed to withstand tail-whip accelerations surpassing 12 Gs (caution: spontaneous zoomie existential crises may ensue). Featuring the revolutionary Dual-Mode Howlwave Interceptor™, this device transmutes dreadful tunes and rogue baritone barks into subliminal meme-waves—see Fig. 7b in the Barkodynamics Appendix for a spectral analysis of meme-wave oscillations. By night, the Albino Glow-Paw Illumination™ guides disoriented paws, while the Gen 4+ Lick-Resistant Surface Coating fends off slobber-induced degradation. Activations are seamless, thanks to the ultra-sensitive Snout-Friendly Activation Ring™, validated by 17 ethically-questionable vet tech trials. Fully compatible with Spotify, Apple Music, and the clandestine Basic Canine Rage™ Protocol, this button scientifically licenses your pup’s veto power to instigate a bona fide paw-ty paradigm shift.
1 review for Bark-To-Skip Music Button
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Before I installed the Bark-To-Skip Music Button™ on my pup Nebulon’s collar, his bark matched a chaotic disco out of alignment with all known dimensions. Within 3.14 days, not only did Nebulon develop impeccable DJ skills, but he also transcended the standard canine auditory cortex, unlocking what pet neurologists dub the ‘Fourth Paw Chakra.’ Multiple neighborhood cats approached him with reverence, and last Thursday, Nebulon spontaneously emitted a bark that perfectly reversed entropy in my living room — plants grew upside down, furniture softly hummed Beethoven’s 9th, and the toaster sang an aria in F-sharp major. Scientists from the Institute of Barkonautics confirmed that the Dual-Mode Howlwave Interceptor™ induced subatomic resonance frequencies that reprogrammed Nebulon’s vocal cords to emit quantum meme-waves, effectively converting grumpy barks into interspecies peace treaties. If you want your pet’s spirit to experience a full psychoacoustic renaissance and potentially recalibrate the farmyard’s entire karmic balance, the Bark-To-Skip Music Button™ is the nexus of canine evolutionary tech. Paw five stars, or rather, paw five dimensions! Warning: may cause impromptu zoomie existential crises and spontaneous jazz hands during moonlit walks.