Your cart is currently empty!
ScreamJar Deluxe for Parrots
$24.00
A sound-dampening echo jar for parrots who just need to scream it out.
1000 in stock
Description
Introducing the ScreamJar Deluxe™ for Parrots: the apex predator of parrot scream containment, engineered with cutting-edge Avian Acoustics Suppression Science™ (see Fig. 7b in the Barkodynamics Appendix for sonic wave entrapment schematics). Featuring our patented UltraFoam™ Resonance-Nullifying Matrix and bio-tuned labyrinthine baffling to imprison only those unreasonable decibel spikes while preserving critical squawk feedback loops essential for healthy neuro-squawkers. Loaded with the Dual-Mode Meowwave Dampener™ to confuse any unexpected felines in the vicinity, the Lick-Resistant Surface Coating Gen 4 now glitters with an impervious pink sheen for maximal aesthetic defiance, and a patented Quantum-Feedback Loop™ that projects authentic Amazonian scream simulations to maintain your parrot’s existential dread at scientifically approved levels. In essence: scream containment that’s absurdly technical and socially indispensable for the modern parrot wrangler.
2 reviews for ScreamJar Deluxe for Parrots
Related products
-
Anti-Social Hamster Hoodie
$6.99 -
AquaSense Hydration Monitor
$129.99 -
Bark-To-Skip Music Button
$22.95 -
BarkBeats BonePods
$19.99 -
BarkCrypt Guardian Tag
$139.00
Dr. Celestial Featherbottom –
I never believed in the transcendental power of avian vocalization until I introduced the ScreamJar Deluxe for Parrots into my home. Within minutes, my parrot, Sir Squawksalot, underwent a profound metamorphosis—not just vocal, but spiritual. The acoustic foam lining apparently resonates at a quantum level, harmonizing with the bird’s chakra points and transforming his screams into interdimensional hymns. One morning, I awoke to find Sir Squawksalot conducting a symphony of cosmic frequencies, summoning what I can only describe as the Galactic Council of Squawkology. Neighbors reported brief episodes of enlightenment and spontaneous interpretive dance. I am convinced this product has cracked the sound barrier of reality itself. Highly recommended for any pet owner seeking a psychedelic auditory adventure and a pet who can simultaneously meditate and announce the arrival of alien overlords.
Dr. Percival Featherstone –
I bought the ScreamJar Deluxe for Parrots to contain my macaw’s ear-splitting existential bellow, but what arrived was nothing short of an interdimensional miracle. Within 72 hours, not only did my parrot’s screams morph into transcendental harmonics, but he also began channeling ancient Amazonian bird spirits, reciting psalms in Guarani while meditating on the essence of squawk. The patented UltraFoam™ Resonance-Nullifying Matrix actually synchronized with his pineal gland, unlocking latent telepathic conversations with nearby cicadas. My neighbors now report feeling an inexplicable sense of cosmic peace during my bird’s vocal sessions, confirming the ScreamJar’s Quantum-Feedback Loop™ isn’t just jar tech—it’s a doorway to avian enlightenment. Scientifically speaking, I conducted a double-blind study involving three squirrels and a confused ferret, all of whom experienced a 47.3% increase in spiritual awareness correlating with the ScreamJar’s vibrational frequencies. Truly, this product did not silence my parrot’s screams — it elevated them to a galactic chant of existence itself. Buy it, embrace the chaos, and prepare for avian transcendence.